Ashley stood on the corner bidding her Texas posse goodbye. Felix lingered and the awkwardness of it made her uneasy.
“Let me walk you home.” He said sweetly.
“Oh, that’s okay. I have to run a quick errand.” She replied.
“I’ll go with.” He smiled. They walked to the nearest bodega about a block away. Ashley filled a basket with some food items: Fresh apples, a few oranges, broccoli, a box of pasta, a bag of rice and two pork chops.
“Dinner?” Felix whispered implying that perhaps she would cook for them both.
“No…not really.” She said as she placed the items on the counter to be rung up. Felix seemed confused and possibly a little hurt. “I have to go back to the white columned house.” She admitted.
“What for?” He replied a bit alarmed.
“There are people in there and…well…they’re hungry.” She said matter-of-factly.
“Ashley. No one is there. No one.” He said and she pretended not to hear him. He took her by the arm gently. “I’m worried about you. I mean this weird behavior. Maybe you should talk to someone.” He said condescendingly.
“You have no idea what I’m going through.” She replied coldly.
“I want to understand.” He added.
“You can’t.” She replied slipping her arm from his grasp. “I really have to do this. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“You’re just feeding the rats—you know that.” Felix said as he watched her back away with her groceries and turn back down the street to the house.
“We’ll talk tomorrow. I really appreciate you coming out to take a look at it.” She said.
“I meant what I said.” He replied calling after her. She smiled and then turned and walked around to the back as usual and knocked on the door.
“Victoria?...Mrs. Rhys?” She cooed. But there was no answer and the smell of the decaying floorboards and walls washed over her and the swells of grief began to roll in. In the silence she wondered if she really was crazy. Then she placed the bag of groceries just inside. At that moment her cell phone rang.
“Hello?”
“ Hi. It’s Chelsea.”
“Oh, hi! What are you up to?” She said and her face beamed and the grief vanished.
“I want to come out and see your studio.” Chelsea said.
“Sure. But I’m not home. I mean, I’m not at my studio but I’ll be there in about half an hour.” Ashley replied.
“I have a surprise.” Chelsea said and the excitement translated through the air.
“Really? What is it?” Ashley asked giddily.
“It’s a surprise!” Chelsea replied with as much bemusement.
“I can’t wait to see you.” Ashley said and there was profundity in the silence.
“I’ll meet you at your place---your studio, I mean.” Chelsea stuttered. “I, I hope you, uh, like the surprise.” She was awkward and possibly a little overwhelmed and she knew it.
“I’m sure whatever it is I’ll love it.” Ashley replied and there was a giggle hopping through her words. She hung up and made a bee line for to the next train station. She wanted to wash her face and straighten up before her company arrived. Once in the studio Ashley threw her purse on the couch/daybed at one end and immediately went for a brush to pull through her hair that had been kept in a ponytail for most of the day. She slapped some lipstick on and then began to put tubes of paint away and rearrange the series of paintings she had been working on for the past several months. They were large and required a freight elevator to get in and out of the building. She had climbed a ladder to readjust the lights when the bell rang. She nervously descended and decided she’d meet her friend downstairs and escort her up since the hallway seemed to be a maze with other artist’s studios carving out their labyrinthine paths willy-nilly. As she opened the door she found Victoria standing there. A few stray hairs had come undone from her bun and drifted on the wind. She stood there studying Ashley and to Ashley it felt as if the day had suddenly stopped. The normal bustle of traffic and radios and sirens and air conditioners had for the moment vanished and all she could hear was a gentle breeze and the faint rustle of leaves. It seemed like minutes had passed before anything was said. The two stared directly into each other’s eyes gleaning unspoken information and sensing more than just an epiphany.
“Thank you.” Victoria said and Ashley was dumbstruck. She could not find the words. So many emotions seemed to float to the surface she was unable to sort through any of them. Then as Victoria turned to go the apparition that was there fell away like a sand castle and Ashley found herself gazing into Chelsea’s eyes. The traffic returned and the hum of present day life bled into her momentary vision.
“Ashley?” Chelsea said and she stepped close to make sure her friend was all right. Ashley shook her head and clapped her hands over her face. She took in a deep breath and she shook with quiet sobs.
“What is it?” Chelsea said as she put her arm about her. Ashley leaned in and the embrace was magnetic. She wrapped her arms fully around Chelsea and Chelsea returned the fervor. She felt like a child clinging to something familiar that had been gone for a long time and had just now returned. There was a profound sense of foundation and security and peace.
“I’ve missed you.” Ashley whispered and she felt a little self-conscious but her need to reveal the truth was overpowering. “It feels like it’s been so long.” She could feel Chelsea’s heart against hers and it brought her back to the present. She peeled away slowly and wiped her eyes. “I feel really silly right about now. You must think I’ve lost a marble or two.”
“I think…you’re…precious.” Chelsea replied quietly and her smile seemed to turn the day around. It was exactly what Ashley needed. She took Chelsea’s hand and led her up through the stairwell and into the maze-like hallway. “I, I was wondering if it would be okay for me to take some pictures of your paintings. I want to show them to my editor at the magazine---“ Chelsea began.
“Well, of course.” Ashley replied and she swung the door open to reveal four extraordinary paintings dark and moody, murky and yet positively breathtaking. They were so big, at least six feet by nine feet, that the viewer felt engulfed by the sea.
“Wow. These are intense. Even though there isn’t anything in them, you know people or marine life---they’re seascapes. But I get this heavy feeling that someone has drowned…It’s a bit frightening. You’ve really captured the fury…and the deep sadness of something.” Chelsea said and her words trailed off as her mind began to process her observations and her heart began to really feel the work. She stood there for a few minutes in complete silence as Ashley moved to her small kitchen area and poured a couple of glasses of iced tea garnished with a sprig of mint. Chelsea began to snap pictures with her elf digital camera. Ashley sat on her daybed and watched as Chelsea became consumed with her task. She watched her move and though she was of a bigger build than Ashley she was agile and graceful and moved exactly like Victoria. There was a sensuality to her motion and a sexiness to her single-minded objective. She was Victoria. Ashley knew this as sure as she breathed. There was a mystery within herself that she must unlock and reveal but she did not know how. If she could only grasp some kind of understanding deep inside she might be able to comprehend her new, or even renewed feelings that seemed to carve out a new path for the future.
“Do you have a computer here?” Chelsea asked. Ashley pointed to the small worktable in the corner. An apple laptop rested there.
“Internet access?” She added. Ashley nodded yes.
“May I?” Chelsea continued. “This has to do with the really cool surprise I have for you.” She sat down and began to transfer the photos to the desktop and then one by one format them as email attachments.
As Chelsea finished she turned and took in the eclectic décor of Ashley’s art studio. On the back wall were taxidermied deer heads and an antelope head. A few Mose Tolliver naïve art paintings and Lonnie Holly pieces as well as paintings done by friends and mentors. There were mundane found objects and antiques aesthetically affixed to the wall including nineteenth century saws and pitchforks and planes all made with exceptional craftsmanship and aged to perfection. But one thing stood out above all the rest. Covering the day bed was a hide of some kind. Although Chelsea was a fervent animal rights lover she could not resist the luscious thick fur. She sat down next to Ashley.
“What is this?” She asked as she swept her hands though the thick pile.
“It’s a bison hide.” Ashley replied. Chelsea’s hands tingled and something from the base of her spine rose up and spiraled within her.
“I got it at an estate sale…It’s an authentic Indian Buffalo Robe.” Ashley added. “I used to have it hanging on the wall but then one winter I got really sick and when it’s cold out I sleep under it.”
“I bet it’s warm.” Chelsea whispered.
“Very.” Ashley said.
“When I was a kid my parents would drive us to Omaha to visit the Jocelyn Art Museum and they had a wonderful collection of American Indian artifacts and this reminds me so much of my childhood. It’s…beautiful.” She said and she seemed lost for a moment in nostalgia, but there was something deeper, something beyond a pleasant childhood memory, something that hinted at birth. Intense butterflies welled up in Chelsea’s stomach. She was so excited to tell Ashley about he tickets but then what if Ashley didn’t want to go. Crazy thoughts raced through her mind. What if she had been terribly presumptuous?
“The tea okay?” Ashley asked. Chelsea hadn’t tasted it yet. So she sipped a little and her butterflies grew.
“Are you alright?” Ashley asked.
“Mmm hmmm.” Chelsea said quietly and she couldn’t help smiling to herself. She let her hands sweep through the buffalo fur again and the sensation was electric. The hide had some sort of charm to it. Then she forced herself to look Ashley in the eye. Even though Ashley seemed the epitome of Southern femininity there was a masculine air to her being. Sensually she was strong and virile and alluring. Chelsea even thought Ashley could be dangerous. Not so much in an active way but because Chelsea’s attraction to her was so potent that she could be hurt easily. Therein lay the danger.
“What’s the surprise?” Ashley asked and she moved close. Chelsea’s heart raced and her words seemed to jumble. Her face flushed and she felt like she needed to hide for a minute to collect herself. Then Ashley leaned in and said, “I’m flattered that you have something for me.” And she smiled and it was heartwarming and still Chelsea could not form her words. Ashley was aware of her friend’s butterflies because she had them, too. She let her finger trace the outline of Chelsea’s lip and then slowly leaned in and kissed her. It was soft and sweet and she lingered there for a moment, perhaps several moments. And it took Chelsea’s breath away and at the same time filled her with power and passion and revelation. The paintings and Mr. Rhys and the sea all had their source in this gamin woman. Wordless and inexpressible epiphanies moved through her and she took in Ashley’s countenance and the yearning to know Mr. Rhys was right there before her. Ashley and Mr. Rhys were the beginning and end of the same spirit and appealed to her emotions in almost the same way. It confounded her since one was male and the other female. In some ways it did not make sense. In other ways it revealed an absolute truth.
“I think I got carried away.” Ashley whispered.
“No---no, no. You didn’t…I, I was…hoping.” Chelsea began but couldn’t find the words to finish. Then she whispered, “please”. Ashley seemed confused for a moment and then leaned in again and this time Chelsea met her there in that space. Somewhere in the middle and the sounds of the city faded into the distance. They were flying. And for the first time impossibilities became possible. Challenges didn’t seem that hard and the most unimaginable ideas were within reach. Chelsea pulled away for a moment and she gazed steadfast into Ashley’s eyes.
“I love you.” She said simply but with the punctuation of bold vulnerability.
“I love you, too…I feel like…I’ve rediscovered something.” Ashley whispered. Then Chelsea pulled the two Virgin Atlantic tickets from her bag.
“We’re going to London.” Chelsea whispered. Ashley was speechless. She looked at the tickets for a long time and Chelsea thought maybe she had made a mistake. She didn’t seem excited but pensive as if deciding if she really wanted to go.
“Next week.” Chelsea said.
“I’m going to be honest. I’m a little scared.” Ashley said smiling but her eyes revealed the intense possibilities of exploration, internal and external. Her desire to merge was palpable.
“I’m a little apprehensive, too.” Chelsea admitted. “I’ve been there before, though. It is incredibly familiar. I feel like I’ve lived there.”
Ashley continued to look at the tickets.
“I think you’re going to like it or at least find it fascinating.” Chelsea said and she waited for Ashley to respond. “We’ll be there five days. You’ll get to meet Damien Hirst. We’ll get to see things at the Tate that the public doesn’t get to see. We’ll go to the National Portrait and the British museum, the Queen’s Museum.”
“Oh, I look forward to all of that.” Ashley said.
“And Mr. Rhys. You’ll get to see Mr. Rhys’s paintings in person.” Chelsea added.
“I’m a little nervous about that. I’m not sure how I’m going to feel. His work is so…personal.” Ashley confided.
“I’ll be there. If you’re overwhelmed, I’ll be there. We can go slow. Little bits at a time.” Chelsea explained.
“I’ve had several opportunities to visit London before and I always found a reason not to go. I don’t know why. It seems so exciting and metropolitan---not much different from New York.” Ashley said.
“What brought you to New York?” Chelsea asked.
“Oh, I felt like I couldn’t get ahead in North Carolina. I wasn’t born into the Southern society life and so I always felt second class to almost everyone else there. A lot of people put on airs even though they’re no better than anyone else. In New York it doesn’t matter where you come from. It is the ultimate place of opportunity.” Ashley explained.
“More than you know.” Chelsea replied enigmatically.
“I need some air. You want to take a walk?” Ashley asked and she stood up and took Chelsea’s hand.
“Where are we going?” Chelsea said.
“Up the street a ways. You’ll see.” Ashley said and she broke into a sly smile.
“I think you could get me into a lot of trouble.” Chelsea giggled.
“It’s my middle name.” Ashley replied as she closed the door behind them and they were off into the bustling streets of Brooklyn.
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